Monday, May 4, 2009
...I am no longer in the MTV demographic, but in the FiberOne demographic.
...in Poland, I'd be considered middle-aged.
...I am no longer within the acceptable age-bracket to be considered for an Elite Escort level job at any of Amsterdam's finer gentlemen's clubs.
...Kids who were born the year I graduated from high school are getting ready for prom.
...I can no longer blame my fat ass on "baby" fat.
...my metabolism is now officially at a dead-stop.
...according to American Funds, now's the time when I absolutely MUST begin to REALLY look at my retirement plan.
...I'm older than Samuel Adams beer, the Old Navy brand, and I could technically be the mother of every single member of the 2008 US Olympic Womens Gymnastics team.